The Mind Pendulum

To and Fro ,To and Fro
End to End ,End to End,
Oscillations and more Oscillations,
Sometimes slow, sometimes fast...

Searching for that ever elusive...
but not knowing what the search is for...
Seeking false targets;one leading to another,
Ever searching but never ending oscillations.

O mind! thou dost oscillate
Owing to thine ever increasing burden.
The burden is not yours but you think it is;

An imaginary ever attracting never fulfilling burden.

Seek thy source, seek the eternal and not the external.
For that is where you began and that is the ultimate end.
That is the ultimate and permanent peace.....

That is the End of all searches.

Look Within....Look Within....

And thou shall finally rest...

Centered in Him in eternal bliss...

Tat Tvam Asi (Thou Art That).

Lonely traveller

One whiff of O2 and there started my journey
Ignorant about the travails, ignorant about the miles ahead
I touched my little feet on the ground
It took me a while to get a sense of things
And there began my sketch in the grand drawing.

It has been a wondorous journey...

I see many a face, 
Some of them leave me,
I leave some of them,
Some of them become part of me,
I become part of some.
Neverthless each face reflects on me.
I laugh with them,
I cry, I fight,I agree,I disagree, I love,I hate.
A rainbow of emotions leaves me colorless.


Attachments and detachments-both unreal,
Happiness and dissapointment-both cheaters,
Success and failure- famous imposters
Fulfilments and frustrations-2 sides of a counterfeit coin
All of them come and go.

Neverthless I move on,One tread a measure,One foot a time 
I carry memories of the previous step,
I tread the next measure with a sense of false wisdom,
I might rise or I might fall, but I have to keep the next step.
All of them etched in time.

It is a journey within...
It is a journey without...
It is a journey of my soul..
Through the tendrils of time...

Time is the only witness...
Alas He is only a witness...
The cruel teacher, the task master
He makes me toil,He makes me me learn...
And kills me mercilessly in the end...

But do I really die??? 
I do not know.
I do not know my destiny...
I do not know my destination...
I shall know it....when I reach there...
And I shall reach there...alone.

My Elusive Gossamer

I stand in the wedding hall

In utter dismay and disbelief

That this is happening....

But then may be I always knew.

How I hated this day.....

But the day had come....

I wait with bated breath,

as she and marriage party come along

She has never looked more beautiful

Her cheeks flushed a rose red....

She did look what I called her

Gossamer-angelic and graceful.

I did not want nor did I look at the groom

The one who is going to take away the bin of my dreams.

The priest asks the public consent

My entire being shouts No but my lips remain sealed...

She has said yes to him and No to me....

They exchange vows and rings...

I look away in agony....

The wedding party leaves...

My elusive gossamer is now lost forever....

I stand like a zombie numb and cold...

I then kneel down in the church hall

And cry inconsolably and shout -

"Almighty God enough enough"

With a shudder I open my eyes...

I sit up in cold sweat....

The scene has repeated for the nth time...

Each time driving a needle thorough my heart.

The D-day is yet to come....

Music-the eternal joy

As my foot treads this earth,
I behold many a scene,
which tweaks the strings of my soul.
It then speaks,cries,laughs out
In a language unknown.
Emnates then from the churning within
an inexplicable joy from my core
bringing silence to my soul.

Rose 'n' Thorn

The Rose is beautiful,
graceful and eloquent,
captures people's eyes,
with bees teeming towards it,
is most sought after and loved.

The thorn supporting the rose
ugly and jagged,
dark and insignificant,
often unnoticed and unwanted,
is always despised and forgotten.

The rose aware of the thorn,
mostly annoyed ,despises it.
She considers him a shame,
in her pot of fame.

The thorn resolute and tight lipped
remains faithful and loyal
sworn to protect her till he dies.

Farewell

As you leave this day,

Instances spent with you

rewinds itself,

I see only memoirs to cherish forever...



Life is a journey with impressions

some people hardly cast any

some leave tattoos

few change you

rarely they become part of you

like you....



Sadness does engulf me...

Tears are frozen....

Happy that I met you....

Cause now I know me better.....



I don't know if I will see another twilight with you

Life moves on....

we are all travelers....

Wish you better, joyous and excellent journeys ahead



God be with you....

Cause I cannot come with you....

As you see millions more faces....

You might forget mine....

But I guess your heart will remember mine....

Farewell my dear...

Au revoir....Hopefully...

Frozen Rose Buds

One of those silent moments
of lonely togetherness
My heart blossoms...
frozen rose buds
revealing joy and revelling
in memoirs untold and unexpressed

a silent prick of time bound futilities
the rose buds remain frozen in time.....
moments of impotent agony.....
a reminder.....my heart obeys
an uncomforable cowardly assurance....

I am a wise man.....says the EGO

THE HUMAN

On the highest peak of glory
Or the deepest abyss of agony
(I am Human)

On the altar of sacrifice
Or on the pedestal of knighthood
(I am Human)

Lending a satin gloved hand
Or receiving the last mouthful
(I am Human)

Fighting for justice with valor
Or betraying with a backstab
(I am Human)

Weeping salty tears of depravity
Or tasting sweet joyous wine
(I am Human)

Giving a toothless innocent smile
Or suppressing a hypocritical grin
(I am Human)

Sweating from a 24x7 toil
Or suppressing a lazy fart
(I am Human)

As a blissful saint
Or a murderous lustful beast
(I am Human)

Rendering soul stirring music
Or uttering a blood curdling roar
(I am Human)

A human who
Sacrifices, struggles and loves
A human who
Kills torments and lusts
Half God half Devil
Engaged in eternal combat

I AM THE HUMAN

The Hunt

With prying eyes and insatiate desire
Watches he waiting on his prey
Blissful and eloquent
Unaware of the danger glides she.
The beast pounces on her
Tearing at her flesh ,he skins her
A final thrust and she
Seeks emancipation in death
But he lets her live
To die a thousand death
Between legs of beasts of men

My Heart Speaks

Every night as I lie down to rest
my dear ,my heart yearns for you
I write numerous unsent letters
Whose words are written
In the vast empty space
Each word formed
With the ink of my overflowing heart.
You do not know
Nor do you realize how close I am.
Separated from you by words
Which I know if uttered
Will break your trust
Helpless, speechless, knowing
I have lost you
Accepting destiny
With a silent prayer
For you and your beloved
I go to sleep with dried tears
Hoping to live with you
In dreams!!!!

Lullaby of a dying mother

Sleep my child
Thy blissful innocence
The only solace
To my heart.
You will grow up
Amidst love and care
Just like me.
You will get all glories
Just lie mine.
But never succumb to desire
Then You will live a life my child
Unlike me
(The rest is silence)

Prayer of a dying Mother

With a heavy heart
Amidst guilt of fallacy of youth
I drag myself towards where
I do not know, my child.
For with my heart’s wounds
Burning within me
And the wounds caused by society
Burning my body
I live for you alone.
But now it seems
Every iota of my life is gone.
Drink my child drink
For, this id my last blood
I pray to thee lord,
Give my orphaned child atleast
A chance to live,
Unlike me, orphaned by society
Orphaned by you
I place my fallacy
At thy altar
May atleast my soul
RIP

The Trident

Deep in my inner world,
In a flash of momentary meditation
I beheld thy glorious dance
Swaying and holding the world in thy sway,
Benevolent Ma thou dist look beautiful.
With an eternal smile,
Thou dist look at me.
Then why the trident in thy hands?!!!
As if in reply, thy sway changed
Into a wonderous revolution….
Aneka kodi Brahmandangal
Revolving around thee….
Did I hear the melody of cymbals and Conch?!!!
Still I wondered……
Why the trident?
The look in thy face, the sweet smile
Changed into serious benevolence.
Thou charged towards me….
‘I’ receiving the trident
With full acceptance.. straight through the heart
(The trident pierced my ego)
‘I’ glimpsed immortality??!!!!!

Life of a prostitute

Next says the pimp,
Comes in a man
Face unknown race unknown
Puts me on the bed
Goes about his gyrations
Unhindered and unloved
I bearing the pain
As he drives through me
For reason unknown.
I know no soul
Who looked at my face
Or shared a joke of my fate
I wonder how my life was “pimped ”away
Whisked away from home
By a face unknown
I curse this world of mine
As the man makes loveless love.
With a pride of unmanly satisfaction,
Tosses he a counterfeit note.
Next says the pimp.

SPIT ANALYSIS

Khaaaaaa thooooooooo,
Waaaak thoooooooo,
Lands the slush
Rich red from satisfied hearts,
Pepper minted with corporate wrath,
Tainted with youthful blood and tar,
Bearing pains of the outcast,
Spit my nation Spit.
We are spitting on our face,
Floating on it,
Calling it a unity,
In Diversity!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHILDREN

Toddling, Scrambling, Swimming
On the floor
With a toothless grin
Winning hearts
They work miracles on hardened hearts.
No fear, only dear
Dear to all.
Dear to the neighbour,
Dear to the family,
Dear to a thief ,
Dear to an angel
Ones dearest to GOD.
In this world of conflicts,
Both inner and outer,
You keep toddling away,
Cheerful, darling,
Curious and adventurous.
But alas!!!! you grow
Then where does all this go?!!!!

Holocaust

Tossed aside along with the others
I did not know who my neighbour was.
They came like hunting dogs
And tore my family apart
I being of “use” to them
Was taken to a chamber
-A labyrinth of horror
where humanoid humans
were only guinea pigs
I looked around me and
I saw my friend
Butchered to death
“Experimental extermination”
I twisted in pain as they
gassed the chamber
hours passed,
I don’t know I am dead or alive
Loaded in a carton,
Of lifeless humans
I resume my journey
To another “living hell”
“HAIL FUHRER “THEY SAID
NAY “HAIL THE SATAN”

LIFE SANS/WITH REASON ?

I did not know what my heart did want
I did think it wanted
But I reasoned out
-that longing for something
will stop my thinking
Hard and long was my thought
Focused-
I did not listen to my heart
For I reasoned out
What my heart longed-
Was beyond reach
And then I knew
What I thought was right
My heart had longed in vain
The longing was
Someone else’s!!!!

Alone in my world

Alone in my world
where thoughts hold sway,
I sit contemplating this world of mine.
A mind yearning for what not.
And a heart steadfast
A focused conscience
A world of aspirations and fears
Yearning to act on faith alone
But timidly accepting partial trust.
Why don’t I have complete faith,
Why no complete understanding?
Why not be brave to face anyone?
Why not stand up against injustice?
Why not be totally free from
gossips and small talks?
Why this constant oscillation?
Why not be all above?
But then who will be me?
I am as I am.

Shoes of steel

Faster, faster I try to run,
but my insteps pain.
Hours and hours of rambles
On thorns and stones
Have made my hoofs rust.
They gave me shoes of iron
a lace for the nose
and a unidirectional vision.
I want to feed my child more
But my udders pain
due to continuous use.
They used steel
to draw my clarified blood.
I am sick and tired.
Endless whipping has made
my leather numb.
Now I hear though
My pains are to end.
One last pain
At the neck
And I fall with dried tears and
frozen blood .
Save thou at least my partner
Who has to bear more
As I am no more.